The Spirit Of The Law

I used to work part-time in a liquor store in Oklahoma. On Sundays and holidays, it is state law that we are closed. We’re in the store on Memorial Day doing inventory when a customer shows up at the door, which, of course, is locked.

Customer: *Yanking on the door handle, shouting through the glass.* “Hey! The door is stuck!”

Me: “It’s not stuck, it’s locked! We’re closed on holidays!”

Customer: “C’mon, just sell me some beers!”

Me: “Come back tomorrow, sir. We can’t legally open today.”

Customer: “Then why are you all in there, huh?! You’re in the store, so you’re legally obligated to let me in and make a purchase!”

Me: “No, sir, we’re not. We’re in here doing inventory. Come back tomorrow.”

Customer: *Yanking on the door handle harder, shouting louder.* “You don’t get to tell me when to come back! Let me in!”

Me: “Stop doing that or I’m calling the cops.”

Customer: “Call ’em! They’ll tell you that since you’re in the store, you’re legally obligated to let me in and make a purchase!”

So, I called the cops, and it’s a good thing I did because he managed to break the door’s locks (cheap and old) and open the door. He’s in the store demanding we make a sale when the police arrive. We ask them to arrest him.

Officer: *Talking to the customer as he’s walking him away.* “Don’t you know it’s illegal to sell alcohol today?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t buy any booze, so I’m not breaking any laws!”

Me: *With a smile.* “But, sir, you are in the store, so the police are legally obligated to arrest you.”