The Spider, The Penguin, And The Cupboard Prove To Be Less Successful Than Lions, Witches, And Wardrobes

(I’m looking after my nieces, who are all playing games on their tablets. My youngest niece likes playing a game where she can populate a virtual house with people, animals, and accessories. The following exchanges take place on two different days.)

Five-Year-Old: “These are my dogs. I have lots of them.”

Me: “That’s nice.”

Five-Year-Old: “I trapped this dog’s tail in the cupboard, though.”

Me: “How did that happen?”

Five-Year-Old: “Her tail was sticking out when I put her in the cupboard.”

Me: “Why was she in the cupboard?”

Five-Year-Old: “Because there isn’t room anywhere else.”

(A few seconds later:)

Five-Year-Old: “Look! I have horses, too.”

Seven-Year-Old: “Why don’t you put a horse in the cupboard so there’s room for the dog?”

Five-Year-Old: *suddenly indignant* “Because it won’t fit!”

(The next day, they are playing this game again.)

Five-Year-Old: “Look at my house!”

Me: “Is this the house where you have a dog in the cupboard?”

Five-Year-Old: *scrolls across to the cupboard, and opens it* “There isn’t a dog in there. It’s a penguin.”

(A few seconds later:)

Five-Year-Old: “I’m putting a spider in the freezer.”

(I’m truly afraid for when she gets her own house.)