The Spelling Has Become A Bit Vulgar Of Late

(Perhaps because of their age, my parents are the target of a lot of scam calls. Luckily they don’t fall for them, and my mom in particular enjoys messing with these callers. One day the phone rings and the caller ID reads, “Columbia University.” Already suspecting a scam, my mom picks up. A man with a strong Indian accent speaks.)

Scammer: “I am calling from Microsoft Windows; we are calling to inform you that there is a virus on your computer.”

Mom: “And you’re calling from Columbia University?”

Scammer: *a pause* “That is where I am calling from, yes.”

Mom: “Can you even spell Columbia?”

Scammer: *offended* “Of course I can!”

(And to my mom’s surprise he actually does. Or, well, attempts to.)

Scammer: “It’s C…” *very long pause* “O… L…*another long pause, and then he apparently gives up* “F*** YOU!” *slams the phone down*