The Sound Of Silence

(We’ve just had a new carpet installed, and my mother’s very protective of it. I accidentally knock a can of soda all over a glass coffee table, including the runner.)

Me: “Hey, at least it’s not on the carpet!”

Mom: “You do realize that if you don’t get paper towels to clean that up, it will be all over my new carpet. Then I will have to beat you soundlessly!”

Me: “Soundlessly? I don’t think that’s going to work. First, you’d have to catch me, and I’d be making a lot of noise.”