The Sound Of One Idiot (And) Clapping

(The customer at the front of the queue is talking loudly on his phone and ignores me when I ask what he wants. I decide to ask the person behind him for their order.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me! I’m at the front. You serve me before him!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. You were on your phone. What can I get you?”

Customer #1: “Jesus! Stop interrupting me! Can’t you see I’m talking to someone?” *continues conversation*

Customer #2: *quietly, to me* “Follow my lead.” *then, very clearly, at normal speaking volume* “Clap once if you can hear me.”

(Claps.)

Customer #2: “Clap twice if you can hear me.”

(Claps twice, with me and the person behind him joining in.)

Customer #2: “Clap three times if you can hear me.”

(Three claps, more of the queue and the people sat at a nearby table have joined in – most of the other people in the shop have stopped talking to see what the clapping is about.)

Customer #2: “Clap four times if you can hear me.”

(Most of the people in the shop clap along with him, with the person on the phone struggling to hear what’s being said by their friend.)

Customer #2: “Clap five times if you can hear me.”

(Everyone claps, and Customer #1 hangs up, looking angry.)

Customer #1: “How dare you interr—”

Customer #2: “Clap six times if you can hear me.”

(Everyone, except the now fuming phone guy, claps.)

Customer #2: “Oh, good. You seem to have finished your call. Why don’t you place your order now?”

(Customer #1 stutters for a few seconds, then storms out, mashing at his phone.)

Customer #2: “Oh, well. That was fun.”

(He got his drink for free, and now we always use that to shut up customers on their phones!)

This story is part of the People Who Should Get Off Their Phones roundup!

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