The Solution Is Math

(I work as a chemist. I’m fairly new, and one of the youngest people working. An internal customer comes in, wanting help interpreting the data I sent him. Note: this man has a PhD in chemistry.)

Customer: “I need this in percent! You sent it in… ppm?? What is that?!”

Me: “It stands for part per million.”

Customer: “Well, how do I get percent?

Me: “You have to convert to part per hundred. It’s just an order of magnitude conversion.”

Customer: “Part per hundred isn’t what I need, either! I need percent!”

Me: “Part per hundred is percent. That’s what percent literally means. Per hundred.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t!”

(Repeat for ten minutes. I eventually gave up and did the conversion for him. Makes me wonder what math classes he took in that PhD.)