The Smart Thing To Do

(I have recently gone back to college ten years after finishing high school. I’m sitting in an accounting class required for my major and texting a friend.)

Me: “I don’t know why we keep going over this.”

Friend: “Because it’s complicated. People don’t get it; you get it because you’re smart.”

Me: “No, I’m pretty sure everyone else is stupid.”

Friend: “At some point everyone else is normal and you’re smart.”

Me: “I don’t know that we’ve reached that point yet.”

(The instructor hears me snickering.)

Professor: “I’m glad accounting is entertaining for some of you.”

Me: “Um…”

Professor: “Can you give me the answer to the question on the board?”

Me: “Well, since I’ve answered 75% of the questions you’ve asked, even only halfway paying attention, and the other 25% have been because I’m trying to let someone else answer, the answer to that one is .”

Professor: *rolling eyes* “You could at least try not to be such a smart-a**.”

Me: “I could, but who would that help?”

Professor: *giving a long dramatic sigh* “So to continue, remember that credits and debits always need to be balanced.”

Me: *texting my friend* “In high school this is where I would have been thrown out of class for being a smart-a**.”