The Slow And The Delirious

(For my film class,. we are analyzing Asian films—specifically drag racing/action films. Note: our group consists of four boys, and one female.)

Group Member #1: “What the h*** is that loud squeaking noise?”

(The mechanic smugly opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything, somebody else speaks.)

Female Member: “It’s just the compression brakes on the car.”

(The mechanic in our group snatches the remote and pauses the movie.)

Mechanic Member: “How the f*** you know that?”

Female Member: “I read.”

Mechanic Member: “But… you’re a girl!”

(Myself and the other two guys inch away from him.)

Female Member: “And?”

Mechanic Member: “So, you ain’t supposed to know stuff about cars!”

Female Member: “You do realize you’re throwing a fit over something trivial, right? I mean who cares what extra knowledge I have or why?”

Mechanic Member: “Because, if you women actually know stuff about cars it makes it harder for mechanics when you bring your cars in!”

Female Member: “So you’re mad because if I brought you my car, you wouldn’t be able to lie to me about what’s wrong with it?”

Mechanic Member: “Yes!”

Me: *to mechanic* “I know you gave me your business card earlier, but now I’m definitely going somewhere else.”

Group Members #1 & #2: “Me too.”

Mechanic Member: “Aw that ain’t fair! You’re takin’ business away from me! I’m a MAN! I deserve it!”

Female Member: “So you think you’re entitled to lie to your customers and engage in dishonest business practices, and you’re angry that you ruined it for yourself?”

Mechanic Member: “F*** you! It’s all your fault! You shouldn’t know stuff about cars!”