The Situation Isn’t Fluid

(My husband and I visit a town in Kentucky quite frequently, though we live about three hours away. We decide to buy a small house to stay in when we come to the town. We had only been in the house once, for a two day period.)

Worker: “Good day, ma’am. How can I help you?

Me: “I’m calling about my water bill. I think there is a mistake with the meter.”

Worker: “Ma’am, all meters in your area were replaced recently. There is surely no problem at all.”

Me: “Actually, that is one thing I wanted to mention. The problem didn’t start until after the meter was replaced. Anyway, it must be malfunctioning. This reading is much too high.”

Worker: *already growing impatient* “Ma’am, I can swear that our meters are in perfect working order. There is no way that your reading is too high.”

Me: “My husband and I couldn’t have possibly used as much water as this reading says we did. We’ve only been in that house for two days this month.”

Worker: “Ma’am, I’m sure you’re mistaken. You must have just used more water than you usually do.”

Me: “So you mean to tell me that four fifteen minute showers and running the dishwasher once used 60,000 gallons of water?”

Worker: “…We’ll have someone out this Friday sometime between two and four.” *hangs up quickly*

(No one showed up that Friday. They have yet to fix the meter.)