The Silence Was Material

(I am on a conference call, on my headset. My officemate knows I am on this call, as I asked her if we could close the door so I wouldn’t be distracted by noise outside. As it happens, I haven’t spoken on the call for a while, but am still listening. Suddenly…)

Officemate: *to the tune of “Material Girl”* “Living in a material interest. And I am a…”

(I start frantically gesturing at her. She spots me and puts her hand to her mouth.)

Me: *on the call* “Er, sorry, could you repeat that?”

(Once the call has ended…)

Officemate: “I’m so sorry. You were quiet for so long, I thought your call had ended and you were just working.”

Me: “That’s fine; nobody heard you. But when you’re next having a conference call, I’m going to start doing Mongolian throat singing. Just saying.”

Officemate: “That’s fair.”