The Signature Of Inebriation

(I work at a late-night restaurant that caters to the people who come for food when the surrounding bars close for the night. A customer comes in who has drunk a little too much.)

Customer: “Do you accept credit cards?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

(I swipe the credit card, and it is approved.)

Me: “Now, if you could just sign here, you’re all set.”

Customer: “What am I supposed to sign?”

Me: “The cardholder’s name.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(She then proceeds to draw a picture of a naked lady—complete with large boobs—where her signature should be.)

Me: “Uh” ma’am, I don’t think this is a valid signature.”

Customer: “Just try it; it’ll work!”

(I put it through, and the machine accepts the signature!)

Me: “Wow, I guess you’re right!”

Customer: “I need to stop drinking so much!”

(She leaves me a $15 tip on a $25 bill! That is why I love working the late-night shift!)