The Server’s Nightmare

I’m in the middle of a rush at a restaurant. I have no busser. A couple is insisting on sitting at a particular table, but it hasn’t been cleaned yet.

Me: “It’s not the only booth by a window. I can seat you at any of these other tables.”

Couple: “No. This one has the most sunlight.”

I give them an “Aww, shucks” look.

Me: “All right, well, it’s going to be a minute until we can get around to cleaning it, so just hang tight.”

Food is sitting forever in the window, tables are flagging me down for their checks, and there are another dozen people loitering at the entrance. It’s like one of those server nightmares where your feet feel stuck in molasses.

The couple intercepts me at the register while I’m putting in three tables’ lunch orders.

Couple: “Could we put in our order with you while we wait? We know what we want!”

Me: *Big sigh* “Look, let me finish a couple of things that need immediate attention, and I’ll get your table clean.”

At this point, the husband has begun wandering around the restaurant. I finally catch a second, and I begin clearing and wiping down their table. I turn around to look for them, and they’re gone. I go into the next room, and they’ve sat themselves at another table.

Couple: “Oh, we decided on this table after all. Sorry for the trouble. We must be a nightmare!”

At least they’re self-aware.

The last hiccup was when I refilled one of their coffees to the brim. They asked for a new cup because I had “spoiled their coffee-to-cream-and-sugar ratio”. Some people…