A Subtle Rebuttal

(My boyfriend and I are in our early- to mid-20s and I’m taking him to meet my grandparents after we’ve been dating for about a year and a half. After being at their home for about an hour and a half, my aunt, who is notoriously dramatic and a bit unstable, emerges from their basement noisily but without acknowledging our presence. She eventually joins the conversation.)

Aunt: *points to potted plant* “Do you know what this is?”

Boyfriend: “Uh…a flower?”

Aunt: *condescendingly* “It’s an amaryllis.” *to me* “What are you doing with a man who doesn’t know what an amaryllis is?”

Me: “Well, he’s got me for flower identification. I think he’ll be okay.”

Aunt: *grabs my left hand* “Oh, okay. Just checking.” *we’re not engaged, no ring on my ring finger* “When is that happening?”

Me: *taken aback* “Well, to be honest, [Aunt], we haven’t actually talked about it yet. But thank you for asking so politely and subtly.”

(She showed zero remorse in the moment but called me three times later that day, sent my mom a card, and sent me a letter a few weeks later asking me for “forgiveness” and saying she hoped I wasn’t embarrassed. My boyfriend and I had a good laugh about it, but the gall of some people.)