The Secret Lives Of Customers

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(I am helping a customer upgrade his cell phone, which was broken for some reason. I open the phone and set it on the counter.)

Customer: “Gosh, I don’t know why it doesn’t–hey! It looks wet in there!”

Me: “Oh? Well, it does, but the indicator says it’s not water, or at least it didn’t do any damage to the hardware.”

(The customer picks up his phone, sniffs at it, touches the liquid and TASTES it.)

Customer: “Oh! OH! The butter!”

Me: “…sir…can I ask…how did you–”

Customer: “You know, I’d rather not explain that one.”

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