The Sad (Pro)State Of Philosophy

(My extended family has gathered for a meal at my aunt’s house to celebrate as I have recently finished my Ph.D. studies and am now a Doctor of Philosophy. Most of them understand it’s not a medical qualification.)

Mum: “I propose a toast to [My Name], who has worked very hard and is the first doctor in the family! Cheers!”

Everyone: “Cheers!”

Me: “Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. Just got to find a job now!”

Everyone: *laughs*

Aunt: “But you’ll get a job easily. Don’t worry about it. There are hundreds of hospitals who need qualified doctors.”

Mum: “It’s not that sort of doctorate. It’s not a medical qualification. It’s in philosophy.”

Aunt: “But Uncle Jimmy saw one of those at the local hospital, about his prostate.”

Mum: “He saw a philosopher about his prostate? Don’t you mean a proctologist?”

Aunt: “I guess. They’re pretty much the same thing, though. Aren’t they?”

Me: “I really, really hope that doesn’t turn out to be the case.”