The Sacrifices You Make For Family

(My parents are in the middle of updating their first floor.)

Me: “I need to use the restroom.”

Mom: “You’re not going upstairs, are you?”

Me: “I can use the bathroom down here? But it doesn’t have a mirror!”

Mom: “What are you planning on doing in there?”

Me: *deadpan* “Ritual animal sacrifice. I have a goat I’ve been holding onto.”

Mom: *doesn’t miss a beat* “You’ll have to do that outside. We just got the floors redone.”

Me: “You never let me do anything!”