The Richest Are The Biggest Penny Pinchers

(I work as a cashier for a large chain grocery store. It is the end of the night, and I am the only register open since my supervisors are clearing the self-checks. A sports celebrity known for his facial hair comes through my line with his friends.

They’re buying about three carts full of various party supplies like cups, chips, and drinks. He and his friends completely ignore any of my small talk questions like whether they found everything okay. I’m fine with that, as it is late and I’m not much for small talk by then, either. This happens at the end of the transaction.)

Me: “Your total is $602.77.”

(The customer gives me six $100 bills and then stares at me expectantly.)

Me: “All right, that will be $2.77.”

(The customer looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Customer: “What? You can’t cover that for me?”

Me: “No, sir, that will be $2.77.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t cover that for me.”

Me: “No, sir, I don’t want my drawer to be short at the end of the night. That will be $2.77.”

(The customer glares for a moment before dramatically pulling out his wallet and swiping his gold credit card. I speak to him while printing the receipt.)

Me: “Thank you, sir, I hope you have a—”

(I was cut off as he snatched the receipt out of my hand, turning up his nose with an annoyed grunt, and walked away. I mentioned it to my manager later and she said I should have let him go on the $2.77, as a local celebrity coming in is good for business. 

A month later, he was traded to a team in another state, with a multi-million dollar signing bonus.)