The Reasons Keep Piling Up

I’m standing at the end of my register, as we’re supposed to do when we don’t have customers. A man approaches.

Me: “Hi, there. Ready to check out?”

I gesture toward my register.

Customer: “Yup.”

He unloads his groceries and pulls his phone from his pocket to show me.

Customer: “I just got my first smartphone. How cool are they?”

Me: *Smiling* “They are pretty cool.”

Customer: “Hey, what’s your last name?”

The cashier at the register behind him turns and gives me a “WTF?” look.

Me: *Pauses* “Why?”

Customer: “I want to add you on Facebook.”

Me: “Um, I don’t have one.”

Customer: “Seriously?”

I give a small, uncomfortable laugh.

Me: “Seriously.”

Customer: “How is that possible?”

Me: “I don’t want one.”

Customer: “Why? What are you hiding?”

Me: “If I told you that, it would defeat the purpose of not having one, now, wouldn’t it?”

Customer: “Oh. I guess so.”

The rest of the transaction is silent. When the man is out of earshot, the cashier at the next register shakes her head.

Cashier: “What a creepy little weirdo.”

Me: “And that’s another reason I don’t have a Facebook.”