The Real Reason For The Rise In Pregnancies

(I work in a large discount store at the customer service desk. It’s 9:58 pm, and we close at 10:00 pm. The phone rings, and since we aren’t closed yet, I have to answer it.)

Me: “This is [Location], [Store]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “I need you to get something from the pharmacy and hold it at customer service for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the store is closing in just a moment, so we can’t put anything on hold.”

Customer: “But I’ll be there in five minutes; I just need to buy this one thing.”

Me: “Sir, the store closes in one minute; unfortunately, you won’t be able to purchase anything.”

(This goes back and forth for another moment, and my manager starts listening in to the call.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the store is closed now; it’s ten o’clock. I can’t hold anything for you, and you won’t be able to purchase anything from us tonight.”

Customer: “For f***’s sake, I’ll be there in five minutes. I’m just on the bus right now. Have it waiting for me.”

(I should clarify that he never actually tells me what it is he needs so badly that he’s rushing to the store at closing time.)

Me: “We are closed at this time, sir; you won’t be able to purchase anything.”

(After a couple more lovely swear words, he hangs up. My manager is laughing, and asking me questions about what he was saying since she could only hear my side of the call. I go about closing my registers. A few minutes later, there’s a disturbance at the door. Someone pushes his way past our greeter, and our manager stops him.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, but the store’s closed now.”

Customer: “But I put something on hold at customer service; I said I’d be here just after ten.”

Manager: “We close at ten, and nothing gets put on hold this late at night.”

Customer: “I just need one thing.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but our registers are closed; we can’t sell anything to you.”

Customer: “I just need a package of f****** condoms!”

Manager: “There’s a pharmacy store down the street; they’re open until midnight.”

Customer: “But I’m here, and I need them. I have to get them.”

Manager: “Sir, we’re closed. I’m sorry, but I need you to leave the store at this time.”

Customer: “I just need one box.”

Manager: “No. You need to leave the store. We’re closed, and my associates would like to go home.”

(After some grumbling, he finally left. We all had a good laugh about it. I’m still glad, though, that I wasn’t asked to watch the doors that night. My manager handled it much better than I could have.)