The Queen Will Not Be Amused

| Learning | April 20, 2015

(The only girl in the class is a drama queen and centre of attention at all times. If things aren’t going her way she blames it on everyone else and causes a massive scene.)

Girl: “Ugh, I hate [Teacher].”

Classmate: “He’s all right.”

Girl: “No, he told me off. He was completely out of line.”

Me: “Wait. He told you off because you didn’t do the assignment.”

Girl: “No, it wasn’t. I think he has a thing for me, dirty old perv.”

(The teacher is a pretty normal teacher. He is actually one of the most forgiving, but can’t stand it when people forget their assignments. One day I am approached by the head of the department.)

Head: “Can I have a word with you, please?”

Me: “Err, me? Sure.”

Head: “We have had reports that a teacher has been acting improperly towards one of your classmates. I wanted to speak to all of you privately.”

Me: “Really? I can’t say that I have ever see…” *then it dawns on me* “This is about [Girl] isn’t it?”

Head: “I can’t say. Have you ever seen a teacher act improperly towards a student, or say anything unprofessional, get too close, that sort of thing?”

Me: “I hate to say this, but you realise that [Teacher] is gay, right?”

Head: “What?”

Me: “I wouldn’t have said anything but I know that [Girl] is making up lies. I have actually met his husband.”

Head: “Oh, I err, well I never knew.”

Me: “Please don’t tell him it was me. He doesn’t like to share his private life. But I don’t want him getting into trouble over a girl playing stupid games.”

Head: “No, no, of course.”

(A week later, the same head of the department puts his head through the door.)

Head: “Can I speak to you please, [Girl]?”

(She has a big smirk on her face, before announcing…)

Girl: “I’ve had enough of this class and you!” *to teacher* “Expect to be in a lot of trouble.”

(We could hear her screaming then fake crying through the door. I don’t know where she went but I never saw her at that college again.)

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