The Produce Section Is Too Deep To Ford

(I was a customer observing this exchange.)

Customer: *picks up an apple and takes a large bite out of it*

Employee: “Sir, what are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m sampling an apple to make sure it’s not mealy. The last apples I got here were all mealy.”

Employee: “Er… it’s generally not a very good idea to do that… those aren’t washed.”

Customer: *sets the apple back down* “YOU DON’T WASH THEM?! Don’t you know you can spread dysentery?!”

Employee: “They’re washed before they come in here, but we can’t wash them on the shelf. And sir, you have to pay for that.”

Customer: “F*** that! I’m not paying for something that’ll give me dysentery!”

Employee: “We can’t sell an apple that has a HUGE BITE taken out of it!”

Customer: *stomps off*

Customer #2: *observing nearby “Someone should tell him, ‘You have died of dysentery.'”