The Population Is Totally Zuckerberged

I work in a tech support call center. We’re meant to try to solve every problem remotely if possible and only send out a tech if we absolutely cannot help over the phone. My boss thinks it’s never required to send out a tech, ever, and will show us examples of how we could have tried harder to avoid a call-out.

I receive a call from a customer.

Caller: “My Facebook isn’t working.”

Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

Caller: “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, so I’ll need you to open the browser.”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s what you use to access your Internet.”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “The Internet?”

Caller: “Yes, what’s that?”

Me: “What do you do on your computer?”

Caller: “I check my Facebook.”

Me: “That’s Internet.”

Caller: “No, that’s Facebook.”

Me: “Okay, then I need you to go to your Facebook.”

Caller: “My Facebook isn’t working. I told you. Are you stupid?”

I figure it is going to be too difficult to get this caller to type in an IP address, so I try the brute force method.

Me: “Okay, let’s try a reset. Can you turn off your computer?”

Caller: “I don’t know how.”

Me: “Just shut it down.”

Caller: “I don’t know how.”

Me: “Click on the icon in the bottom left corner and select shut down.”

Caller: “What do you mean by ‘click’?”

Me: “By using your mouse.”

Caller: “What’s a mouse?”

Me: *Zero hesitation* “Okay, I am going to send a tech over to you.”

I played the call back to my boss. He admitted there was a first time for everything.