The Police Are On Burn Notice

For whatever reason, my trash service has not been coming by to collect. I have called and called and been reassured each time that they would get it next week. After a month, I gave up and took matters into my own hands. I had an old barrel in my backyard that hadn’t been used for a long time. I dumped some burnable garbage in the barrel and set it on fire. 

About ten minutes later, two local police officers came to the yard.

Officer #1: “Ma’am?”

Me: “Oh! Hello.”

Officer #1: “Ma’am, are you burning something?”

Me: *Standing a few feet from the barrel.* “Yes.”

Officer #2: “We received a report of a house fire in the area.”

Me: “Um… I don’t think so.”

Officer #2: “And how do you plan to control this burn?”

Me: “There is no foliage above the barrel, it’s in the middle of an 8x8ft cement slab, I have three buckets of water and a hose here, and I’m burning little by little, so the flames do not go above the lip of the barrel.”

Pause.

Officer #1: “Why aren’t you putting your garbage out in your bins?”

Me: “I pay for collection, but they haven’t collected in a month. I keep getting told they’ll be here every week, but they’re not. I can’t let garbage pile up, that’s unsanitary.”

Officer #2: “You could take it to the dump.”

Me: “Which is extra money I shouldn’t have to spend since I’m already paying for a service I’m not receiving.”

Officer #2: “Who is your collection company?”

Me: “[Company Name].”

They exchange a look.

Officer #2: “Thank you. Please just… continue to be careful.”

I continued my burn until it was done, then completely soaked what was left. The next week, my trash was finally collected! I may never know what changed but I have a feeling the officers who visited me also visited the collection company.