The Police Are A Must With The Pelvic Thrust

This is a story relayed to me by an employee at a small bowling alley that I frequent. It should be noted that the alley typically operates with a skeleton crew due to lack of people interested in working there full-time, so this employee acts as cashier, repairman, and manager.

It starts with a car accident across the street. Fortunately, the car winds up colliding with a large tree that remains undamaged, and nobody is badly hurt as a result of the crash, but the front of the car is completely caved in. Instead of calling insurance or maybe even a tow truck, the occupants ditch the car and head over to the bowling alley.

The group situates itself at a table and one of its members, who reeks of alcohol, approaches the counter. Much to the surprise of the employee, instead of asking for rental shoes or a lane to bowl on, the man demands alcohol. He does look over 21 but can’t present any ID, and he seems like he arrived over-served, anyway, so his request is declined.

He’s not happy but moves on to demanding to bowl against the employee, with the winner getting $1000 from the loser. Because the employee is working at the moment and he doesn’t know the guy, anyway, he politely declines, but his refusals are only met with the man continuing to up the reward money by another $1000. Eventually, he is told that if he does not want to buy or rent anything, then he needs to leave. The man complies at first, but is distracted on the way out by a random stranger minding his own business. The man suddenly whips around and threatens to fight the now-confused stranger, and while no brawl comes of it, the employee is alarmed by the violence and immediately calls the police. He then firmly reminds the man that he needs to leave, but that only convinces the man to storm over to the counter and start threatening him instead. Not wanting to escalate anything or get hurt, he steps back, bites his tongue, and hopes the man will be distracted long enough to not bother anybody else before the police arrive.

The man, however, is quickly bored of threatening the employee and moves onto the arcade games. Rather than play on any of the machines, he invents his own game of intensely and suggestively pelvic thrusting in front of the basketball hoop game.

Suddenly, the man’s friend yanks the man away from the machine and the group hastily disappears into the night. It happens so fast that it’s as though a switch flipped in the friend’s head.

The police arrive and start gathering evidence. Turns out the car isn’t the only thing that group chose to ditch. The friend, in his haste to leave, had abandoned just about every single document relating to his most recent car rental on the table, and the rental car’s description matches almost perfectly with the car that he’d just crashed. What doesn’t match, however, is the registration. The car has a Florida license plate; the form clearly indicates that the car is registered in Virginia. The rental company was contacted, and from there the police found out that there were also serious discrepancies with the personal information he gave the company versus the personal information on the document. This is a telltale sign of fraud and forging/doctoring contracts, most probably done because the man’s friend did not have a valid license and hence needed to fake one with matching fake information to rent a car.

While the man was clearly wasted, the police had no evidence or suspicion that the man’s friend had been drinking that night. Since the whole group had since vanished, the police then advised the employee to keep a small gun on him at work for defense should another incident occur, and to simply contact the police without engaging with the suspect at all if anybody from that group enters the alley again.

Hopefully, the group is smart enough to stay away, though, or at least has learned to keep a close eye on the guy that gets really crazy and stupid when he’s drunk.