The Pilgrim’s Lack Of Progress

(Once a month, we close the clinic early and go out to lunch as a group. I haven’t lived in town very long when we go to a local restaurant called the Mayflower.)

Coworker: “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”

Me: “Pilgrims!”

Coworker: “Huh? That’s a joke. The answer is ‘June bugs’.”

Me: “Oh, I had heard that joke differently. Hey, look at these placemats with the story of the Mayflower on them: ‘Once upon a time, there were people called Pilgrims?’ Do they think we’re in first grade or something?”

Coworker: “I don’t know this story.”

(I tease her, thinking she’s kidding.)

Me: “Were you asleep during social studies in elementary school?”

Coworker: “Hey, we’re not all as filled with USELESS KNOWLEDGE as you are, okay? Sorry if I concentrate on actual important stuff and don’t know about this PILGRIM business!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry.”

Coworker: *changes the subject* “This weekend, I’m going to visit my family!”

Me: “Oh, that sounds fun. Are you very close?”

Coworker: “To be honest, not really. Ever since I got my college degree, they don’t want to talk to me because I’m so much smarter than they are!”