The Pig Goes Moo

(I work at a call center. I enter the break room to make my lunch. Two of the administrative assistants are present.)

Coworker #1: *to me* “Hey, you. Did you notice the new bacon item in the vending machine?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty good, but for a buck for .3 ounces, you’d be better off cooking your own at home.”

Coworker #2: “Wait, there’s bacon in the vending machine? Doesn’t it need to be cooked?”

Me: “No, it’s precooked. The vending guy just filled it again. There had been six, but now there’s only three left.”

Coworker #2: “But why would you buy it? Doesn’t it need to be cooked? It’s gotta be fake! How big is it?”

Me: “Less than a tablespoon.”

Coworker #2: “Well, I’d never buy it. I can’t eat carbs. Plus, bacon is the scraps of the cow.”

Me: “Bacon is pork, which is pig, and meat is protein.”

Coworker #2: “NO! Bacon is cow carbs!”