The Phrase Is “Phony As A THREE Dollar Bill”!

I hand a customer his change after a small purchase. Among the coins and bills is a $2 bill, slipped in without me noticing.

Customer: *Squints at it, and then explodes.* “What the h*** is this?! A fake bill? You trying to scam me?!”

Me: “Oh! No, sir, I apologize. That’s a $2 bill. It must have been placed into the $1 drawer by mistake. I’m sorry for not noticing.”

Customer: “This business should be ashamed, trying to shortchange your customers!”

My manager steps over, drawn by the shouting.

Manager: “Sir, we apologize. The truth is, that $2 bill was sitting in our $1 drawer. There’s no slot for them, and the cashier forgot. You were supposed to get a $1 bill. So technically—” *Hands him the $1.* “—this is what you should’ve received.”

Customer: “Don’t try to cover your tracks. I know funny money when I see it.”

The customer’s wife, who has been enduring his ranting up until now, taps him ever-so-slightly on the back of the head.

Customer’s Wife: “They’re real, you moron! If you’d kept your mouth shut, you’d have been a dollar ahead!”

The man’s face goes red. He pockets the $1 while my manager puts the $2 bill back in the cash drawer (but folded in the back). The customer walks away without another word, silenced from having paid the a**hole tax.