The Phantom Crapper Is A Serial Napper

I hadn’t worked in my department for long when I was told about the “phantom crapper” — someone who sat in one of the mens’ toilet cubicles most of the day instead of working.

None of the managers wanted to be the one with a stopwatch outside the toilets and lose the respect of the workers, so it had been going on for a while. It sounded like there were attempts to covertly catch the timewaster, but with people in and out of the toilets all day, the phantom evaded capture.

Then, one day, his luck changed. A fire alarm went off, prompting a full-scale evacuation. It wasn’t long until someone was noted as missing and concerns raised.

In the search, they looked in the mens’ toilet. With the alarm blaring, they kicked down the closed cubicle door to find the missing employee on the toilet napping, with noise-cancelling headphones, snacks, and a drink. He clearly was the phantom.

He was led outside to the sound of cheers and was never seen again.