The Perfect Picture Of A Bad Customer

(I work in the electronics department of an extremely large global retail chain, which could frankly fill its own section of this website. Every couple of weeks we get a customer who understands very little about her devices, but treats our associates with incredible disrespect and rudeness and storms off before we have a chance to explain what she needs. I happen to draw the short straw this time.)

Customer: “I need to know how to download pictures from my phone to my computer so I can print them.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of camera do you have?”

Customer: *pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes as though praying for patience* “The KIND. That takes PICTURES.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but there are several different options available depending on the type of camera. Let’s try this another way: Does your camera have a slot called ‘SD Card’?”

Customer: *sighing, rolling her eyes* “Now how the h*** am I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “Sometimes it’s next to the battery compartment. Would you mind opening it up so I can check?”

Customer: “YES, I MIND! IF I OPEN IT I’M GOING TO LOSE ALL MY PICTURES!”

Me: “Ma’am, rest assured that your pictures aren’t stored in the batteries.”

(At this point, the customer threatens to have my job if her pictures are deleted, calls me a pissant, and goes on a rant about retail workers while trying to open the compartment. Finally she manages it.)

Me: “Okay, your camera already has a Micro SD card in it. You’ll need to physically remove it to transfer your photos, since I see the USB slot is broken. We have some kiosks available that will allow you to print them off right now if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, because you guys keep copies of my photos and I don’t want that.”

Me: *losing patience a bit* “Ma’am, we have never kept a copy of anyone’s photo. We won’t return photos that are p*rnographic or copyrighted, but those go into the shredder, not our pockets. Now, your computer will need an SD card reader in order to—”

Customer: *doing the nose pinch thing again* “Yes, I already know that. Have a good day.” *storms off*

Me: “See you in a couple of weeks…”