The Orlando Hillbillies
(I work as a security officer in an upscale hotel near the big theme parks in Orlando. We get a call from one of the rooms complaining about a break-in and theft.)
Me: “Sir, you called security about a break-in? When were you out?”
Customer: “Yeah! We just got back from [Theme Park] and somebody broke in here and took all of our used towels and soaps and stuff! Looks like they went through everything!”
Me: “Sir? They took your used towels?”
Customer: “We had a buncha towels in the bathroom and a buncha shampoo and soaps are gone, too! See?! These ain’t my towels! I know because we had used ours last night and draped them over the shower curtain to dry! What kind of establishment are y’all runnin’ here?”
(I look around the bathroom; it looks tidy and neat. Clean towels are hanging on the towel rack, and new bottles of courtesy soaps and shampoos were put on the bathroom counter.)
Me: “Sir, were these your towels from home? Was anything else taken?”
Customer: “No! We gotta buncha towels with our room and now they’re gone! I know because they were wet! Somebody done been in here snoopin’ through our room!”
Me: “Sir… I believe that was housekeeping. They come in, clean up the room, see if you need any fresh towels, and give you new–”
(The man begins shouting.)
Customer: “DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! SOMEBODY HAS BEEN IN MY ROOM!”
Me: “It’s called ‘Housekeeping.’ They come in and replace any toiletries you use during–”
Customer: “Well, I ain’t need no toilet treats! They coulda stole all my stuff!”
Me: “Sir… it was our maids. They come in and clean for you. There is a complimentary safe in your closet. You can lock up anything you don’t want out when our staff–”
Customer: “TELL THEM I DON’T WANT ANYONE IN MY ROOM AND GOIN’ THROUGH ALL MY STUFF! If they do it again, I’m calling the police and having all y’all arrested!”
Me: “All right, sir…”
(The customer and his family stayed a whole week in the hotel. Evidently they used the same four towels the whole time and split a one oz bottle of shampoo for four people over six days.)
This story is part of the American States roundup!
Question of the Week
Have you ever met a customer who thought the world revolved around them?
