The Oregon Trail: The Conan Edition

I am but a simple inbound technical support representative for a large ISP, cable, and phone provider.

Caller: “I need to complain! I wanted to watch [Action TV Show], but when I tuned into that channel, Conan O’Brien was on, instead!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, sometimes the schedule can—”

Caller: “I f****** hate Conan O’Brien!”

Me: “Sir, I—”

Caller: “I hope you and every single employee of your company get diarrhea for an entire month!”

If the curse stands true, we will all potentially die of dysentery within the next thirty days, and we have Conan O’Brien to thank for our fate.