The Opposite Of A Cone Of Silence

(I work at a confectionery shop. It is one of the first gorgeous days of summer, so we are packed, especially at the gelato counter. We make our own waffle cones but have run out, and my coworker and I are making them as fast as possible to order. I have this exchange with a female customer:)

Customer: “Can I get a scoop of pistachio in a waffle cone?”

Me: “Sure thing. Just to let you know, our waffle cones are being made to order right now as we catch up; it will a couple minutes and the cone will be warm so your gelato will melt faster.”

Customer: “Oh, yummy! That sounds great!”

(While we’re waiting, I scoop for a lot of other customers who aren’t waiting for cones and the woman keeps interjecting to make chit chat with me:)

Customer: “Do you have bacon ice cream?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we only carry [Local Brand] gelato and I don’t believe they have a bacon flavor.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, the shop near my house in [Town] has a bacon ice cream, and it’s delicious. You have to try it.”

(Whenever the customer refers to [Town], she stresses it as if it were an exclusive, private community. It just so happens to be where my boyfriend lives and I know exactly the shop she’s talking about.)

Me: “Oh, you’re talking about [Ice Cream Shop]? My boyfriend lives right by it; we walk there a lot. I’m a fan but also a vegetarian, so I’ll have to take your word for it on the bacon.”

(The customer gives me a raised eyebrow about being a vegetarian and continues to tell me all about the neighborhood, dismissing anytime I acknowledge that I’ve been somewhere she mentions, and then makes another comment about the ice cream shop she previously mentioned.)

Customer: “You know, they make their own cones at my shop in [Town]. I’ve never had to wait this long.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we’ve been making cones all morning to meet the demand on this gorgeous day.”

(Finally, her cone is ready and I let her know. My coworker passes me the waffle cone and I scoop her gelato. This all takes place while the customer is watching, and I pass it off to her.)

Customer: “What are you trying to pull!?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This cone is warm; my ice cream is cold.”

(My coworker and a couple of other customers who’ve been waiting on waffle cones all let out a laugh because the situation had been clearly explained and demonstrated to this customer. She huffs toward the door, stops, and turns back to us.)

Customer: “It’s. Not. Funny! STUPID IDIOTS!”

(The customer then huffed away, slamming shut the door that had been propped open behind her, and I had a good laugh about it along with my coworkers and the other customers that had been waiting.)