The Only Thing Worth Nursing Is The Headache She Is About To Cause

I’m working in the lobby when I see a woman in her seventies, [Customer #1], stumble and fall forward to her knee. She lets out a quick “Ouch!” and then starts to get up. Suddenly, another woman who looks to be about in her mid-thirties, [Customer #2], sees her and rushes over in a panic.

Customer #1: *Cheerful but embarrassed* “Whoopsie. Tripped over my own feet!”

Customer #2: *Reaching her* “Ma’am! Please do not move!”

Customer #1: *Confused* “Eh?”

[Customer #2] stands up and puts her arms out, as though to clear space, even though there are only about eight other people in the lobby.

Customer #2: *Shouting* “Everyone stay back! This is an emergency situation, and I am a newly graduated registered nurse! Also known as an RN! I work at [Nearby Hospital], and I have authority in this situation!”

[Customer #1] looks extremely confused.

Customer #2: *Leaning down toward [Customer #1]* “Ma’am, you may have gone through physical trauma. I cannot advise you to move. Would you like me to check you or alert an ambulance?”

Customer #1: “I just tripped. It’s no biggie. My knee is a little sore, but then again, it’s always a little sore.”

Customer #2: “Ma’am… are you aware of your legal rights within this situation? As in legal, monetary reparations?”

Customer #1: “What now?”

Customer #2: “Are you sure you didn’t hurt your knee falling? This establishment could owe you monetary compensation if you were to choose to seek it out.”

Customer #1: “Are you saying I should sue them? For what? I tripped over my own feet.”

Customer #2: “Perhaps you hurt your neck during your fall? It’s quite easy to hurt your neck at your age.”

Customer #1: “Um… what are you on about? I thought you were a nurse… but now you’re lawyering me up?”

Customer #2: “I’m just suggesting that I could check you out, and if you’re in pain, maybe I could introduce you to my brother… he’s an attorney.”

Customer #1: *Stands up* “Umm… no, thanks.”

[Customer #1] walks away.

Customer #2: *Shouting to the lobby* “I am a newly graduated registered nurse. If anyone here has hurt themselves at this establishment, please let me know. My offer extends to you all. If you hurt yourself and feel you are entitled to monetary compensation, I can check you out… and maybe introduce you to my brother… He’s a really good attorney!”

The entire lobby and staff stare at the woman, not saying anything.

Customer #2: “Suit yourselves. I could have helped you all!”

She left the lobby. I was dumbfounded.