The Only Drugs Needed Here Are For Anger Management

, , , | Right | March 25, 2019


(I am picking up groceries for my roommate and myself at a well-known Texas-based grocery store after working at a “Mexican” fast food place, still wearing my work shirt. I will admit that I might have been slightly tired and likely showing it via a somewhat zombie-like stance and the fact that some allergy medication I took prior to working was wearing off didn’t help much. While going through the aisles, I notice some coupons that the store has for some bread, which we need. However, as I’m looking at the coupons, a woman shoves me out of the way while on their phone.)

Woman: “Outta the f****** way, you d*** druggie! Oh, some pothead is just staring off into f****** la-la-land in front of the god-d*** bread!”

(Getting pushed back away from the shelves and yelled at, naturally, made me snap back a bit.)

Me: “Excuse me, I didn’t kno—“

Woman: “Oh, shut the f*** up and go back home and get an—“

Me: “—First of all, I don’t do any illegal drugs! Second of all, I was looking at the coupon. Third, I just got done with a ten-hour shift. Fourth, I am sorry I was in the way, but pushing me was NOT needed!”

(She huffs and rolls her eyes at me before darting off. I shake my head and sigh before getting the coupon which was “buy lunch meat and get bread free.” After picking up a few more items, I swing past the lunch meat section and am checking the details as to what lunch meat is allowed (you know: brand, size, flavors, etc.). Suddenly, I hear a scoff while reading the coupon followed by:)

Woman: “I thought I f****** told you to g—“

(At this point, I try to calm myself down with a bit of a deep breath; this seems to really get the woman pissed off.)

Woman: “DON’T YOU F****** GET HUFFY WITH ME YOU A**-HOLE! I’M GOING TO GET THE MANAGER TO THROW YOU OUT AND BAN YOU FROM HERE!”

Me: “Excuse me, but you are the one who is causing issues right now. I am trying to shop and us—“

Woman: “YEAH! ‘TRYING TO SHOP!’ YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO CLEAN YOUR MONEY UP, THAT’S ALL!”

(Feeling myself getting more frustrated with the woman, I quickly snag one of the lunch meats that had the right brand on it and get away. Once I got most of the items on my list, I suddenly remembered one of the items: some allergy medicine. Once there, I see more coupons and try to see if any of the couponed medications will work for my roommate and/or me. Just then…)

Woman: *to an employee* “SEE! THERE HE F****** IS! I BET HE’S TRYING TO STEAL SOME OF THAT MEDICINE TO MAKE CRACK OUT OF IT!”

(At this point, I’ve had enough of it and decide to approach her and the employee with my basket full of bread, lunch meats, art supplies, soups, trash bags, frozen goods, and the like with the medicine in my hand. As the woman goes on and rants about the store letting druggies into it, me supposedly stuffing my pockets, and the like. The employee looks at me and shakes his head, clearly realizing the woman couldn’t be further from the truth.)

Employee: “What exactly makes you think he’s under the influence of anything?!”

Woman: “Well, LOOK at him! He’s clearly in some sort of daze or another.”

Me: “That’s because, as I told you, I just worked ten hours before coming here. Furthermore, my medi—“

Woman: “AH-HA! There you go! He’s admitting it! He’s taking illegal medication!”

Me: “MY ALLERGY MEDICATION—“ *I hold the box up* “—IS ALMOST WEARING OFF!”

Woman: “THEN WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU DOING JUST STANDING AT RANDOM F****** SPOTS!”

(Before I could answer, I begin to sneeze violently while holding my stack of five to six coupons.)

Employee: “Because he is a smart shopper and actually READS the coupons, unlike you.”

Woman: “Well. how the f*** was I supposed to know that package was too big!”

Employee: “We have it listed on the coupon in the same size print. Now, please leave, and don’t come back!”

Woman: “Well then, I’ll just post on your website that you kick out good customers!”

(As she stormed away, I groaned a bit before the employee released a little bit of a groaning sigh, as if this wasn’t the first time she’d done this. After a bit of talking and making sure I was okay he got me to a register.)

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