The Only Child Of The Corn

(I’m white and my boyfriend is Mexican. He often teases me about “white people culture.” We’re at his grandma’s house for a family party, where lots of homemade Mexican food is being served.)

Boyfriend: “Do you want a tortilla?”

Me: “Uh, what do you eat the tortillas with?”

Boyfriend: “I just use it as an edible utensil and pick up all the rest of the food that’s on my plate. Why, is that not how you white people eat tortillas?”

Me: “No…”

(He starts teasing me about being a ‘crazy white person,’ and I laugh along. Just then his grandmother comes in.)

Boyfriend’s Grandmother: *to my boyfriend* “Why are you eating a tamale with a tortilla!?”

Boyfriend: *defensive* “Why not? They’re both corn…”

Boyfriend’s Grandmother: “What do you mean ‘they’re both corn!?’ That is not what I’m talking about! You’re the only Mexican I’ve seen eating a tamale with a tortilla!”

(His grandmother leaves, and my boyfriend turns and looks at me.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t say a word.”