The Old Lady Can’t Get Off This Particular Ride

(We are exhibiting our miniature horses at the Fort Worth Stock Show. We have nice horses and do pretty well. We occasionally bring horses to sell. I am sitting in my stall, prepping my little 32″-tall horse for his class. My friend is with me. The door is open because the little kids love to watch us. We like to talk to anyone who comes by; you never know who may buy a horse! An older “lady” sticks her head in the door.)

Old Lady: “They aren’t good for anything, are they?”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Old Lady: “Well, you can’t ride them. What good are they?”

Me: “Well, we drive ours and teach them to jump and do trail—”

Old Lady: *interrupts* “But you can’t ride them! They’re worthless!”

Me: *getting edgy* “You can do anything with them but ride them. We do parades and take them to nursing homes and—”

Old Lady: “YOU CAN’T RIDE THEM!”

(By this time I’m getting frustrated, but still being nice.)

Me: “No, you can’t ride them. Only little kids can ride them.”

Old Lady: “WORTHLESS!”

(My friend and I look at each other.)

Old Lady: “Do you ride him?”

Me: *resigned* “No, ma’am, I don’t ride him. My feet drag.”

Old Lady: “Oh, okay.”

(Her highly embarrassed friends drag her away. My friend and I look at each other again.)

Friend: “Really? What was that?!“

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