The Number One Thing I Learned At Camp

(I am about eight or nine years old, camping away from home for the first time.)

Me: “Excuse me, can I ask where the bathroom is?”

Counselor: “Number one or number two?”

Me: “I don’t know. Whichever one’s closer?”

Counselor: “Quit being a smart aleck!” *walks away*

Me: “No, seriously! Which one’s closer: bathroom number one, or bathroom two?”

(The counselor realizes I’m serious, and ponders for a moment an appropriate answer.)

Counselor: “…Number one is standing, number two is sitting.”

Me: “Oh… Oooooohh!”