The Number One Screamer

I work for a major computer/electronics company. We used to have a short table with several of our showcase tablet devices for the kiddies to play with. Instead of chairs, we had these big foam ball seats, which we lovingly called Pee Balls.

A lady is there with her kid, who is perhaps three. She’s chatting on the phone.

Kid: *To his mom* “I need to go to the bathroom.”

Mom: *To me* “Where is your bathroom?”

Me: “We don’t have a bathroom, but there’s one downstairs right by the escalator, which is right outside our door.”

Mom: “He needs to go right now! He can’t be expected to hold it in!”

Me: “If you allow me to take you there, it’s literally right outside our door.”

Mom: “Get me your boss!”

Me: “I can do that, but it would be quicker if—”

Mom: “Now!”

She argues for another few minutes with my boss. Meanwhile, the kid has peed himself and is now playing a game.

Mom: “You’ve traumatized my son by making him wet himself instead of letting him use your bathroom!”

She yells about suing us, never coming back, etc.

The next day, she’s back, of course.

Mom: “All your seats are taken! Get one for my son!”

The same manager is working and nicely informs her:

Manager: “We had to throw out the seat under state health laws after your son urinated on it yesterday. You should be happy we aren’t making you pay for it.”

She was magically silent after that!