The Number One Reason To Get Out Of Bed

(I’m sick and in a lousy mood, particularly because I’m stressed about homework and how much time I’ve spent napping. My best friend is texting me trying to cheer me up. He’s also the voice of reason every time I’m being irrational.)

Me: “I don’t want to move.”

Best Friend: “Aw, I’m sorry…”

Me: “But I’ve been in bed two and a half hours.”

Best Friend: “Just make yourself do it, then. I know you can.”

Me: “But you’re always right and that would mean I’d have to move…”

Best Friend: “Yup!”

Me: “…s***, I have to pee. You win.”