The Number One Reason For Complaint

(I work as a customer service rep for an online cosmetics store. All issues with people who have accounts with us go through me, and usually, I’m quite good at taking care of them. However, there always has to be one exception…)

Me: “Hello, customer service!”

Customer: “I need to cancel my account and all pending orders, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. May I ask why?”

Customer: “I was just out walking my dogs, and saw a man pissing on one of your signs at the local bus stop!”

Me: “Uh… Okay, again, my apologies, ma’am.”

Customer: “I mean, clearly that shows he didn’t respect or trust your company, and if he can’t, then how can I be expected to?”

Me: “Uh… ma’am, I’m sorry but we don’t have any control over what folk do to our advertising space. We merely pay to make use of it.”

Customer: “So? What relevance does that have? If that man trusted your company he’d have found somewhere else to relieve himself!”

Me: “Forgive my saying this, ma’am, but could he possibly have been drunk?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter! He was there, pants around his ankles, soaking your ad in his urine! Cancel my account and all my orders, and I’m telling all my friends that your company isn’t worth using!”

(In the end, I called my manager over, who conceded there was no convincing this woman and to cancel her account. It’s still the most bizarre complaint I’ve ever had to deal with.)