The Number One Problem With Laptops

(A customer drops off a laptop for repair. I set up the unit and test for common software and settings issues with no results. I turn the computer over, remove the bottom panel and immediately notice liquid and dried residue around the battery and main-board. A few seconds later a very strong smell of urine hits in waves and fills the tech. I call the customer to inform her of the findings.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. I’ve taken a look at your computer, and we have found liquid inside the computer.”

Customer: “Yes, I know.”

Me: “Umm… the liquid appears to be biological in origin. Urine.”

Customer: “Yes, I know.”

Me: “…unfortunately, we are prohibited from working on computers that have a biological hazard in them. So I will have your computer available for pickup this afternoon.”

Customer: “So, when will it be fixed?”

Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience, but we are unable to work on computers with this type of issue due to health regulations.”

Customer: “This is why I didn’t tell you guys that it got p***** on! F*** you! I’m going to talk to your manager and get you fired!”

(Two days later, my manager informed me that the customer had yelled at him when she picked up the computer. She then called home office to try to get us in trouble for discriminating against her when he wouldn’t order me to fix the computer.)