The Number Of Times This Happens…

(I work in a pay-producing third-party company. We have more than 3,000 different clients who count on us to calculate deductions and pay their employees the right net amounts. I work in the department that works with employees. I often receive calls like these, but this one was one of my best mic-drop moments.)

Caller: “I want to know why I pay more taxes this week.”

Me: “It would be my pleasure to verify. Can I have your company ID and your employee number?”

Caller: “I don’t have them. Can’t you look with my name?”

Me: “I am sorry, I can’t. Human error is too much of a risk factor and we don’t want to risk giving your information by mistake to someone who has the same name you do.”

Caller: “Just be careful and ask me something else.”

Me: “I can’t, I am sorry. I can’t even look by name. I need your company ID and with this, I can then add your employee number.”

(She is getting frustrated because she doesn’t want to call her employer for this information or look for a pay statement. She keeps repeating that she can give me other information such as her social security number, address, mother’s maiden name, etc., and she doesn’t want to understand that I CAN’T look any other way.)

Caller: *really sarcastic voice* “I don’t understand how a big company like yours, in this day and age, does not have a security code we can give you as we do with any other companies!”

Me: *in a sweet voice, even though I am starting to get really mad* “We do. We simply call it your company ID and employee number.”

Caller: “UGH!” *hangs up*