The Nickname Blame Game

(My cousin is due to have a baby girl in a few months. She has picked out a name that is very weird and one no one else has ever heard of. She’s over at my house where my sister and I are trying to talk her out of it.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Diana, or Rachel, or Elizabeth?”

Cousin: “Oh, they’re so overused! The name I picked will stand out so well!”

Sister: “Think about your daughter’s future, woman!”

(We don’t convince her by the time she leaves. As soon as she’s gone, my sister and I try to figure out what to do.)

Sister: “That kid’s going to get beaten up on the playground with a name like that! What do we do?”

Me: “Simple. We pick a cool nickname. We introduce her by that nickname to everyone we meet. We’ll use it so often that she’ll forget her real name!”

Sister: “Great. She’ll have a weird name, and an identity crisis.”

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