The New Honda Epiphany

(I work as a car saleswoman at Honda. I am helping an elderly woman into the showroom and ask what vehicle she was interested in seeing/driving.)

Customer: “I want to see the Mini Pilot.”

Me: *a bit confused* “Did you mean the 2015 Pilot?” *walks over to 2016 pilot in the showroom* “The new Pilot’s body style did change for 2016 and is a bit bigger now.”

Customer: *slightly aggravated now* “No, I want to see the Mini Pilot.”

Me: “Oh!” *walking over to the CR-V in our showroom* “Let me go ahead and show you our CR-V. It’s still an SUV and the body type is similar to a pilot but much, much smaller.”

Customer: *furious now* “NO, I WANT TO SEE THE MINI PILOT AND YOU’RE CLEARLY STUPID! But i will test drive this one if it makes you get away from me.”

Me: “Oookay, let me go get the key. So I can save you time, can I also get your driver’s license so I can make a copy?”

(Company policy is that a customer is not to drive a car without a valid U.S driver’s license.)

Customer: “H*** no! You’re just going to take it and run my credit! It’s because of sales people like you that everyone’s credit is so low!”

Me: “Ma’am? Does your license have your social security number on it?”

Customer: “Of course not. Why would you even ask that?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the only way we’d be able to run your credit is if we had your social. Making this copy is just so I can show my managers who I am out taking a test drive with.”

(After her finally agreeing to let me make a copy, we are out on a test drive and by test drive she drove the car in perfect circles in our front parking lot for ten minutes, almost hitting a few other customers in the process. After the “test drive” I am walking her back inside. She stops in the middle of the doorway, drops the key, closes her eyes, put her fingers to her temples on each side and stays like this for about one minute and 30 seconds. At this point I and roughly 30 other people in the showroom are just staring at her… waiting. I don’t know how long this is going to go on for, so I lightly tap her elbow.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you all right?”

Customer: *opens her eyes looks around to see everyone staring at us screams loudly* “AHHH! I’M HAVING AN EPIPHANY! I MUST LEAVE NOW!”

(She stormed out and after the door shut behind her the whole showroom just erupted in laughter. Luckily my manager witnessed the whole process and let me go home early for that one!)