The New Girl Is A Scream

(I am meeting my middle brother’s girlfriend for the first time. I’m a little nervous about this, since most of the women my other brothers have dated think I’m creepy, and our parents keep trying to get me to be more ‘normal.’ We’re standing in their kitchen when this happens.)

Brother’s Girlfriend: “So, we’re standing outside this concert venue, waiting to be let in, and—” *her phone starts ringing, and she glances at it* “Oooh! Telemarketer!”

(She answers it, and after a deep inhale, bends almost halfway over doing this loud, sustained-note ‘death metal’ scream, then stops abruptly.)

Brother’s Girlfriend: “Aw, he hung up. Anyway, we just kind of had this random conversation about zombies with the guy behi—” *notices the look on my face* “What?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Do you always do that?”

Brother’s Girlfriend: “There are a couple that pop up that you can usually identify as scam numbers pretty easily… With those ones, yeah, I do, unless we’re somewhere it might be socially unacceptable.”

Me: *to my brother* “I like this one.”

(It’s been a couple years, and they’re married now. My sister-in-law still does that, but they don’t get those calls very often to any of their phones.)