The Network Is Working

, , , , | Right | June 6, 2017

(A user calls because he isn’t able to login.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I checked your account and unfortunately your account was disabled. You will need to contact your manager, [Name], and ask him to send a re-enabling request.”

Caller: “Oh. Can’t you just reset my password? I really just need to check few things really quickly.”

Me: “That is not the problem. Your account is disabled. I cannot do anything. Your manager has to send the request.”

Caller: “But I just need this few things and I do not have the number.”

Me: “No problem; I may send email to your manager or call him if you want. I recognize his name; he does this all the time.”

Caller: “But I’m not in the company anymore. He wouldn’t do it.”

Me: “Oh. Do you see the message saying this system is only for employees?”

Caller: “So? I was an employee.”

Me: “But you aren’t anymore. I cannot let you in.”

Caller: “Can you find the information I need?”

Me: “Well… I’m not supposed to do it but okay. What do you need?”

Caller: “I need phone numbers and emails for everyone in [Department].”

Me: “I see. Sorry, I cannot provide this. But you know what? I will send email to your former manager and ask him. Maybe he will send it to you.”

Caller: “No, he wouldn’t. Just let me in for few minutes or I will make sure you will be fired.”

Me: “For doing my job? Okay, have fun with it.”

Caller: *click*

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  • Souless night

    ILL HAVE YOU FIRED FOR NOT BREAKING PRIVACY LAWS

    • Ronald M Bisnett

      I’ve been ‘threatened’ with a report to the Better Business Bureau because I wouldn’t violate HIPAA. One time was from someone claiming to be a nurse who insisted that HIPAA totally wasn’t a real thing. I should have taken her name and where she (allegedly) worked and submitted a report of my own, and not to the BBB.

  • Nightshade1972

    Any bets Caller wanted the info so they could start harassing everyone in their former department? “How dare they fire me! I’m the best employee they ever had! Surely you guys will go to bat for me and tell them that, right?”

    OTOH it’s just as likely Caller is batshit crazy and wanted the info so that they could tap phone lines, send mail bombs, etc.

    • Jackie Fauxe

      Or to take revenge by spreading lies: “They fired me because I knew who [Boss] was sleeping with in the office.” That type of thing.

    • Jelaza

      Or at the very least, they wanted to hit everyone up for some kind of sales pitch or get-rich-quick scheme.

  • Kathryn Baggs

    *giggles* I can’t help it. I really can’t. So stupid it’s hilarious.

  • Isa Frostborn

    Wonder what kind of creepy shenanigans he had planned…

    • Raizumichin

      My guess is either empoyee poaching or some for of sales pitch.

    • Skye

      That, or to send a ragey revenge email about the person who had them fired. We had that happen with someone who got let go from an organization I belonged to; she sent a ranting, scarcely coherent email to the entire membership about the higher-up who supposedly had done her wrong. Needless to say, it backfired on her spectacularly.

      • RubyTuesday

        I had an ex coworker who did that too, except she did it in person. She came in multiple times over the next few months after being let go and just ranted about how unfair it was, the manager was stupid, they should have kept her on because she was the best employee ever, etc. They had to threaten to call security on her before she finally left us alone.

  • Guess Caller got all fired up for nothing.

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      Booooo

      • JB

        I was saying boo-urns.

    • Jesen

      YAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  • Bill Cademy

    I once knew someone who somehow managed to get the e-mail addresses of all top managers after she was laid off. She sent them all an e-mail of how f’d up they all were.
    Pity – she was good at her job, and was on the “okay to rehire” list until then. After that, she couldn’t even use the company as a reference.

  • KashyaCharsi

    You wouldn’t help someone with burglary either, this time you should rather warn the management.

  • Denton Young

    I assume OP sent an email to the former manager letting them know what the ex-employee wanted. That way the manager can decide whether the request was legitimate or whether he needs to call the cops and give them information on ex-employee.

    • Kirishima Touka

      If the caller knew his old boss wouldn’t let him have the information, it definitely wasn’t legitimate

      • Denton Young

        Hence, the e-mail, informing the boss. Maybe the boss has changed his mind and thinks it’s now a legitimate request (doubtful), or more likely the boss hands over the ex employee’s information to the local cops and reports an attempted fraud.

  • Mushroom

    Caller: “Just let me in for few minutes or I will make sure you will be fired.”
    Me: “You mean like you were?”
    Caller: *click*

  • Kathy Plester

    xD I love the response. Perfect.

  • John L

    I would have laughed for a full 10 seconds, then hung up.

  • Dsru Bin

    “Sure, I’ll email those right over to you.”

  • Clint

    Direct them to your manager, their old manager, or HR, then politely end the call. Wow.

  • Daniel Gallagher

    I can’t imagine why he doesn’t work there anymore.