The Need To Be Shirty

(Our manager is just about to clock out, when he notices a young man in his late teens looking around nervously and acting jittery. The young man goes into the fitting room carrying a $5 t-shirt, and then comes out with an obvious bulge in his pocket.)

Manager: “Excuse me, young man. What do you have in your pocket?”

Young Man: “I ain’t got nothin’ man. I don’t know what you talkin’ bout.”

Manager: “Okay, sir. How about you walk back with me to the fitting room, and we see about that t-shirt you just took in there.”

Young Man: “I ain’t done nothin’ man.”

(The young man takes off, practically racing our manager to the fitting room in an attempt to remove the shirt from his pocket. He has misjudged our manager and is caught.)

Manager: “Alright, we are going to take you back to my office and call the police.”

Young Man: “No man, I’ll pay for it! Just let me pay for it!”

Manager: “No, sir! I asked you what you had. I gave you a chance to come clean. You lied to me. We are calling the police!”

Young Man: “Man, just let me pay for it?!”

(Our manager is infuriated by having the kid lie to him, then having to chase him to the fitting room, and at having to stay an extra hour after his scheduled time to take care of this kid; so he cuffs him. One of my co-workers has a front row seat for the entire exchange. All she can do is laugh, because this stupid boy just got himself into a whole world of trouble over a $5 t-shirt.)