The Name Blame Game

(We have a counter where customers can pick up online-only items that have been shipped to the store at no charge. Customers can designate an alternate pickup person, and it’s not uncommon for a spouse or parent to pick up an order, though usually they know it’s not their name on the order.)

Customer: “It’s under [name]. It’s a stroller.”

(I search, and find nothing on computer or on the shelf.)

Me: “Could it possibly be under your husband’s name?”

Customer: “I’m a lesbian.”

Me: “Okay, well, what’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “It’s [other name].”

Me: “Here we go!” *brings out stroller* “Your name wasn’t on the box, so that’s why.”

Customer: “Well, you should have known!”

Me: “I should have known your wife with a wildly different name always sends you to pickup the order under her name?”

Customer: “YES!”