The Name Belongs In A Museum!

Some family members have just had a baby boy, and they’re discussing names.

Baby’s Mother: “We wanted a strong American name, so we were looking at the names of States.”

Baby’s Father: “Not many of ’em work for a boy, though. I only know girls named after states, like Virginia and Georgia.”

Me: “What about Tennessee? Like Tennessee Williams?”

Baby’s Father: “Who’s that?”

Me: “He’s a famous playwright.”

Baby’s Father: “What’s a playwright?”

Me: “Someone who writes plays.”

Baby’s Father: “Was he American?”

Me: “Yes.”

Baby’s Father: “Oh, cool. Maybe we call him that. Wait, he isn’t woke, is he?”

Me: *Blinks.* “He… uh… was born at the beginning of the twentieth century, I think? Way before people used the word ‘woke’.”

Baby’s Father: “Awesome!”

My own mother, who is a teacher, takes me aside and says to me:

My Mother: “Now I know you know Tennessee Williams was just his pen name, and his real name was Thomas.”

Me: “You might have mentioned that once.”

My Mother: “And I know you know Tennessee Williams was gay.”

Me: “You might have mentioned that once, too.”

My Mother: “And that his most famous play is littered with so much gay subtext that the actors are at risk of tripping over them?”

Me: “Rings a bell.”

My mother gives me a look and decides I’m playing with fire. We agree, for the sake of the boy, that we should maybe push our relatives in another direction. They went with Indiana because “Indiana Jones ain’t woke”.