The Naked Definition

(I am a student in the Bay Area, and my boyfriend is an international student here in my hometown. We speak each other’s languages but his English can be… interesting when it comes to “adult time.”)

Me: *after finishing an assignment and getting ready to come back home, I jump on my boyfriend* “Hey. Guess what?” *I want him to figure out I am hungry*

Boyfriend: *hugging me* “Is it pervy time?”

Me: *staring down* “No… it’s not pervy time. You got that yesterday.”

Boyfriend: “But I don’t get it every day! Hmmm… is it sexy time?”

Me: “What?! What’s the difference?!”

Boyfriend: “Pervy time is the actual having sex but sexy time is when you take off your shirt and pants and I take off my shirt and pants and we just hug each other.”

Me: *processing this very childlike description of having sex, I burst out laughing* “I have a site I need to show you…”